Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Woody Allen

“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.”

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.”

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.”

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

“My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.”

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought… particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

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