Mark Twain

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.”

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.”

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

“We have the best government that money can buy.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.”

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

“The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”

“The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”

“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”

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